Remedies for a bad, bad day
As bad as that encounter was, sadly your karma is seemingly running on empty, because things go from bad to worse. Then throw some household appliance or vehicle problem on top of that, like Emeril tossing in some roughly chopped frustration (BAM!), a generous sprinkling of unexpected financial expense (BAM!), a quick whisk of a passive-aggressive email from a neighbor on the HOA board (BAM!) and voila!
But wait, the recipe is not complete until (as I did) you step into (literally) the worst thing you can step into. I know what you’re thinking, but no, the worst thing you can step into is a big chewy wad of bubble gum. The other stuff, while gross, is so much easier to remove.
It is on days like this that I consider unfollowing all the folks on Twitter with the seemingly endless supply of perky quotes. It is on days like this that I look at the wine bottles and hiss at myself for not having anything stronger with which to self-medicate. It is on days like this that were I to get 3 wishes, one would involve a sizable “FU” fund materializing in my very own safe deposit box. The other two wishes would be used to smote those that had crossed me earlier in the day. Just kidding. Peace and love.
Here are some things that I use to remedy a bad, bad day:
- I wash all the whites. There is something about the smell of bleach that soothes me.
- I have a drawer (not the junk drawer) of Beloved Son stuff. It includes pictures from when he was a toddler (and I was the center of his universe), a rock he painted, a note he planted in my briefcase years ago, a detailed note he wrote me in clunky little boy cursive regarding a TaylorMade bubble burner golf club he desperately wanted, and other sentimental stuff.
- I take a bath and read a section of a Bertie & Jeeves P.G. Wodehouse novel. Wodehouse is a master.
- I read a letter that Mother Matthew Mary of the Poor Clares sent me last spring that inspires me to get over it, lose the snark and be a better person (not that she says any of those things…it’s just her goodness that convicts me).
- I watch this video. http://is.gd/aLhAw The Justin Timberlake/Jimmy Fallon Barry Gibb Talk Show sketch cracks me up every time. (Alternative: the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy – but I wore that out.)
I would love some audience participation on this one. Award yourself 30,000 Frequent Fun Points for sharing your remedy to a bad, bad day in the comments section.